i am selfish, i am wrong, i am right.i swear i'm right.
starheffer
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Name: Anna
State: Ohio
Metro: Dayton
Birthday: 9/8/1986
Gender: Female


Interests: Having a good time. This includes: God, dancing, food, music, laughing, dressing up for a date, dressing down for class, reality tv, photography, and making a difference.
Expertise: the macarena. don't be jealous.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Business


Message: message me
AIM: Nanerzstar1356


Member Since: 5/29/2005

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Friday, August 03, 2007

i need a LOT of prayer.

please.


Thursday, May 10, 2007

Currently Listening
Other Side of the World
By K.T. Tunstall
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scary stuff

i move out one week from tomorrow.

as excited as i am, i am also scared and sad.  i'm scared of all the responsibilities and i'm sad to leave my parents.  we've had a good run these past twenty years...

but with the death of my grandparents, college graduation in a year, and moving out, i feel that my childhood is officially over.

and that, i think, is the saddest part of it all.


Sunday, April 15, 2007

Currently Listening
Breathe In
By Frou Frou
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oldie but a goodie

i've learned a lot of stuff since is started college; a lot of it i wish i still was naive to.

i've learned that friends do come and go. they will hurt you. they will disappoint you and let you down.  some won't be there when you need them most. and yet, you still love them, whether you decide to guard your heart or not.

and family is God's greatest gift.

i've learned that love is a choice.

i've learned that letting go isn't weakness.

i've learned that strength requires a sense of fear.

i've learned that life truly isn't fair.

i've learned that one word can change a person's course; guard your lips.

i've learned that death is God's way for us to be grateful for life.

i've learned that pictures are the best instrument to warm memories.

i've learned that it is never too late to start or finish.

i've learned that kindness goes much farther than people expect.

i've learned that patience is a virtue. (and i hate it. passionately.)

i've learned that it is ALWAYS the darkest just before the dawn.

i've learned that a size 0 does not equal happiness. obviously.

i've learned that prayer is the most powerful form of communication ever.

i've learned that grown up responsibilities aren't what they are cracked up to be. and growing down isn't an option.

i've learned the power of sweatpants...and how they make any day better.

i've learned to appreciate everything even more.

i've learned a lot about myself...

...and i'm in the process of learning to accept it all.

 

i know i've already posted this, but looking back on these words i wrote just a few months ago, i realize how true they really are...and how life is so unpredictable.


Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Currently Listening
Not Ready to Make Nice
By Dixie Chicks
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trials...

it is so true that through trials and heartache, you learn who your true friends are.

and sadly, usually the group is small. which brings about more heartache.

thanks to those who are my true friends...


Saturday, February 24, 2007

Currently Listening
Scientist
By Coldplay
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hard times

my grandpa died early friday morning. 

i thought that since he suffered so much for so long, especially since my grandma died, that it would be much easier, but i was so wrong.  this time, it is much harder.  now i am basically without grandparents and that is so hard to swallow.  sure, my dad's parents are still alive and fairly well in CO, but they really have nothing to do with us...

our lives practically revolved around my grandparents for about the past year and a half; since my grandma was diagnosed with lung cancer, we have been their primary caregivers.  my gpa had dementia, so one of us, mostly my mom & aunts, was there around the clock. luckily he still knew who we all were. now all the worry and time is over...it is a little bittersweet.

i miss my grandparents more than i thought i would.  it is so easy to take people you love so very much for granted.  i never realized how much a part of my life they were.  i'll never forget my gpa standing on his porch waving to us as we left his house, watching until he couldn't see us anymore.  and he loved to play blackjack with me; he was really good. and everytime we'd leave, he'd say "watch that dog"--just a southern slang.  he'd sing hymns CONSTANTLY...and peel apples for us on his porch and make squirrel noises as he flung rocks at them from his self-made sling shot...and all the fishing tackle he made still down in his basement, how he called me his 'baby'...and my grandma.  she was crazy and i loved her.  she would do the splits in the living room and put her leg behind her neck, her sex talks with me--not awkward AT ALL, all the little things she'd say when she got angry, the way she patted my hand and always said, "that's my doll", the way she was in denial about everything we did wrong, her twenty thousand phone calls per day...especially the ones at dinner.  these are the things i'll never forget and always miss.

to a lot of people, death is final.  in a sense it is a finality from this life, but i know i will see them again.  and they live in me.  i hate saying that; it sounds so cliche, but i see a lot of them in my character today.  my feistiness, independent, strong-willed, dependable, love without measures personality comes from them.

they loved me unconditionally....as i did them.

please pray for me and my family during this especially difficult time in our lives.

i love you all.



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